Yep! This feels like a battle. A gruesome battle between the old me and the me I want to be. In others I see, all the time, aspects that I’d like to develop in myself. Clear, Strong, Disciplined, Calm, Giving, Trusting, Loving, Confident, and the list goes on… Yet when I speak to others of my journey they all tell me that they see those aspects in me very profoundly. So why is it that I cannot see them in myself? Why is it I cannot see and Feel my Greatness? Why is it that I seem to be blind and live in a constant state of questions, doubts, fears and confusion, trying to escape and be free?
I feel I am a bird with a chain around its ankle sitting on the dirt at the bottom of a stone chimney, constantly trying to fly up to the light at the chimney entrance but always wretched back down by the chain that is anchored into the floor. I’m exhausted from trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and failing.. So now I feel it is time to sit. Stop trying and just sit. Sit, relax and go within. Let go of trying, let go of my disappointments, let go of it all! And just be now. Inner peace is what I desire so inner I go to experience peace.
It’s like I’ve been trying to fly away from myself. Always looking outwards for the answers or looking to someone to tell me what to do, never trusting my own guidance system.
Time to turn within to experience the greatness that is me. That I AM.