This last week I have felt a bit ‘stale’, for use of a better word or now that I think of it I’m feeling like I am just sitting with all that is happening. Kind of like I am holding my breath in observation at my DMP coming into fruition. But is it what a want? It’s left me thinking …. is what I have written down what I really want? I’m working more than ever now and that is certainly not what I want. So time to re-evalute my words and my DMP. Time to go within and sit with it all, to find the words that will build my DMP with enthusiasm!
Once again I’m finding it hard to put my words into a constructive 400 word blurb. This last week has been a wonderful continuation of the MKMMA… I feel having spent the last 6 months engrossed in changed in a conscious way.. there is no going back. It is now a part of my being and I am totally grateful for that. I am doing the work and I am committed. I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I know now how to get there.
I have done many therapies, readings, healings, courses, et, etc (loads of etc’s) to gain more awareness in the field of the spiritual journey..(seeking happiness and inner peace).. but … I didn’t commit to the practices religiously and consciously everyday. I did for a week or two but then the old blueprint would kick back in slowly and take over without me knowing, until years down the track I would be in the same mental chit chat as before. – {my self confidence was shot and unstable}.
The MKMMA is such a gift to the world as it guides you through – with the tools to change. The only thing is… YOU GOT TO DO THE WORK! KNOWLEDGE DOES NOT APPLY ITSELF! You can read as many books as you like, watch countless you tube videos, talks etc, go away on a variety of retreats… but unless you do the work Every Single Day of your Life and embrace the work as a Part of your life and Existence… then it really is futile.. It is all temporary relief to an on going problem.
During the course of the MKMMA support grows weekly as you yourself instigate it through blogging and the alliance area and your own guided connections to like minded people. It’s truly a wonderful gift… For me as well, my inner guidance directs me daily into different therapies/avenues/places/people/conversations etc that support my growth and awareness in the physical and present moment. It’s the something I’ve been searching for… for now… but with what I have been through in my life pre-MKMMA, I still have many questions how it all fits together in the scheme of things. But for now… One thing at a time. Focused awareness on the moment. Forming new healthy Habits. Positive Mental Attitude. Defencelessness. Stillness and Silence.
The magic that comes from Defencelessness this week has astounded me. To a situation that had my blood boiling, ready to fight with all my might…. I stood still and allowed the barrage of attack… observing my need to scream and fight with rage and defence… I just stood still, listened.(even though my mind was a whirlwind of hurt feelings and confusion) Within minutes the drama was gone and harmony reaped it’s rewards.
The path of least resistance. Lets let this one grow!
After I was lost for words last week, I realised what I was trying to say in a condensed version was that I had experienced my new blueprint. The new way I wanted my life to be everyday. Flowing and giving and accepting and laughing and sharing and awareness and kindness and and and…. I had started the week in my old blueprint… and ended the week in my new blueprint and it was awesome!
The Truth and our True Nature is to live and give our Definite Major Purpose. In the beginning I found it hard to write mine and for the duration of the course I must admit that when I read it, I didn’t really FEEL it and CLAIM it as MINE. I found it hard to believe and just went along with ‘whatever’. After watching the webby this week and feeling in to my true nature whilst observing the true nature of our dog, our kitten, the ocean and the birds, I began to realise I am surrounded in my shop by my true nature. Colour, Design, Texture, Nature, Brightness, Fabrics, Creativity, Sharing, Encouragement and Harmony. Plus More…
After chatting to some friends about my journey with the MKMMA I realised that I have never CLAIMED my DMP, my True Nature. I have put it to the side and done everything else. Why? Lack of confidence, self esteem, belief in what I do.
It has taken awhile but I am feeling the confidence to step up to the next step. The teachings within the MKMMA have made all the difference and the one point I would like to make is the biggest message to me that changed everything was
“KNOWLEDGE DOES NOT APPLY ITSELF”
For years I had read the ‘self help’ books over and over… but I never really applied the knowledge longer than a few months. I didn’t live and breathe it. Now ‘I’m getting there’. I feel the seeds have taken root and there is no going back from NOW HERE. I see the changes in myself and even in my husband as I continue to do my daily practices and ‘apply the knowledge’
So much more to say… But I think I’ll just leave it there and continue this journey.
My thoughts aren’t forming into any way of expressing my last week. The only words I have to say would be – Feeling blessed, magical, flow, surrender, trust, gifts, excitement, amazing, super cool, wow, silence, sharing, contemplation, music, new experiences, new friends….and many more.
This program is, by far, one of the hardest things I have ever done. And I have taken on some pretty challenging endeavors in my life. It came to me at a point in my life where I was truly ready …
I am truly grateful to the MKMMA team and the teachings. Grateful beyond words. And grateful to my blogging buddies and twitter tweeters. I just read in Barbara’s blog about the Bees. I feel we are all the bees and the hive is like the MKMMA… Awesome!
I’m feeling to blog what I have just experienced. I was listening to the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattle and even though I read this book 5 years ago… it didn’t sink in as it did today.
Here are a few little phrases that I wrote down
Gratitude brings your mind into closer harmony with the universe and creative thought
God, the one substance, is trying to live and do and enjoy things through humanity
The URGE of original substance containing all the possibilities of all life is seeking expression through you
Man can form things in his thoughts and by impressing his thought upon formless substance can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.
So basically what I got from this that really rang the bells in my being… was…
I am an expression of life force. God. It flows through me and I am it and it is me. I am it’s ‘tool’ to experience the world through my senses. By using my thoughts and visualisation to impress upon the mind of God-formless substance, I can cause the thing I think about to be created, to be formed, to be experienced. It is my job to allow source to flow through me to experience the world through me. Gratitude allows me to be closer to source energy.
So in applying that to my life, I have relaxed on trying to please everyone (i.e.. make what I think others want) and I have chosen to feel into what is always pulsing through me at the time and to just go with it… as this is source energy wanting to experience through me that which I am excited about and drawn to…. as it was a few weeks ago…. All I made were crosses… that is all I wanted to make and crosses was it. It felt fantastic!
For now… I am drawn to the colours green…. and so… I shall glaze in greens and create from the green palette. Cool!
Now we are up to week 22. Og wants us to be master of our Emotions..Haanel wants us to sit and connect to omnipresent and Mark and the crew want us to be silent… for days!! and turn our Emotions of fear, guilt, unworthiness, anger and hurt feelings into tools to propel us into our new reality.
First of all I would love to be silent for days… but with a business it has been a little challenging.. so I have chosen to be silent for as long as I can. It takes me back to doing Vipassana retreats where I have been silent for 10 days of which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Emotions… Well… I have been master at being Emotional in the past and to be master of my Emotions has been a little difficult. I have been super aware of my emotions this week. I have had a couple trying days with my glazes not working out and clay cracking and I have no idea why, which has led me into my emotional state of ‘confusion and defeat’. In observing these states I have chosen to use these failures to propel me into another direction instead of sitting in a pile of crap like I used to do.. wallowing that nothing is working. This state of using these failures is a new to me so it feels a little strange, but it is nice to let go.
I’ve enjoyed the sit this week as when I think of Tennyson’s lines.. in particular.. ‘Closer is He than breathing, and nearer than hands and feet’, I feel more aware of Omnipresent. The idea that thought is vibration and vibration is all forms including every cell and atom of our bodies therefore thought creates body conditions is a concept to get you thinking. I had a little experience of it when doing my sit in the early hours before work began. Totally silent in my sit, a loud knock on the door from an unexpected delivery. My whole body buzzed….. so there I had it. A full body experience of the thoughts I had.. Even though I wasn’t able to get to the original thought. I realised there must have been a thought somewhere to have generated a full body buzz of adrenaline.
I’ve been needing a few signs lately …. and look what was doing the rounds at 4am in our bedroom.. I thought it was a big moth… but it was a micro bat! No idea how it got in as we have mozzie screens on the doors and windows. But what a great sign for me to receive!
